Processing trauma: what does that even mean?

The word trauma has become ubiquitous, and like any good buzzword, it gets thrown around with many connotations. What does it mean to process trauma? Why does it matter, and how do you do it? What happens if you don’t process a traumatic event you’ve experienced?

Let’s take a look.

First things first. What is trauma?  

I think of trauma as an overwhelmingly stressful event that continues to negatively impact the present. A life-or-death situation or a sexual assault constitutes a “capital T Trauma,” while other events constitute “lower case t traumas,” such as job loss, divorce, or losing someone you love.

While these traumas range in severity, they can all cause secondary symptoms and issues if they aren’t processed.

A traumatic event is not the same as an everyday stressor, like getting stuck in traffic, interacting with a difficult co-worker, or dealing with a canceled flight. When we use this word to describe things that are indeed stressful but not traumatic, we take away from the real pain and difficulty people experience when they’ve been through combat, sexual assault, or abuse.   

What does it mean to process trauma?

Processing trauma means integrating traumatic material into one’s memories, consciousness, and self. This requires exploring the event(s) in a safe and structured way, keeping the rational, grounded part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) online alongside the activated, fear-based part of the brain (amygdala).

By stimulating the original emotions experienced during trauma, while reframing the experience with a more rational set of beliefs, the traumatic event can integrate into the person’s bigger picture life experience.

The unhelpful beliefs and strong negative emotions developed from trauma can shift. By approaching instead of avoiding, the brain can effectively store the memory in the past, so the experience no longer jumps out, relentlessly triggering the person. This helps integrate the event(s) into the bigger picture of one’s life instead of being sectioned off.

 Why is it necessary to process trauma?

During a traumatic event, the body and brain are in fight, flight, or freeze mode, and a dump of hormones rush through the body to incite a quick reaction. The part of our brain responsible for kicking us into gear (amygdala) takes over, automatically shutting down the rational, thinking part of our brain (prefrontal cortex).

This is great news for survival. We react; we don’t overthink. But these hormonal and neurobiological changes impact the consolidation and retrieval of memory. Meaning, traumatic memory gets laid down in the brain differently than non-traumatic experiences.

Because of this, the brain cannot seamlessly process and store the event neatly in the past as it does with non-traumatic experiences. This keeps the trauma ever-present instead of filing it into the past bank of memories, only pulling it out when we want to look at it.

Instead, it remains ever-present– popping out when aspects of our everyday experience resemble the trauma somehow. And when that happens, our brain and body get hijacked, feeling like the traumatic experience is happening again. (ie: Flashbacks and re-experiencing symptoms).

This is why people can experience a fight or flight reaction from something inherently safe, like walking through the grocery store, watching a scene on TV, or hearing the doorbell ring. (I say inherently safe, but I understand that gun violence makes every public place somewhat dangerous.)   

Additionally, dissociation is a common survival tactic automatically employed during a traumatic experience, granting the person cognitive and emotional distance during the event. This further impacts memory and emotional processing, keeping the emotions fresh after the event because they were not experienced in real-time.

Let’s take an example. During an assault, the victim is in freeze mode and dissociated–physically present but emotionally and cognitively absent. The natural emotions that would arise from this experience– fear, horror, shock, rage–are not expressed internally or externally at the time. She is trying to survive; the amygdala is entirely in charge. Afterwards, these emotions don’t just disappear. Instead, they remain unprocessed, leaking out waywardly. They need space to be aired, felt, and worked through. If not, they continue to wreak havoc on situations that don’t warrant them.

What happens if I don’t process my trauma? 

Unfortunately, psychological trauma doesn’t heal through avoidance and doesn’t typically resolve on its own. When it goes unprocessed, it’s akin to a wound that never gets cleaned out, continuing to grow and fester the longer it’s ignored.

Because trauma is so emotionally, physically, and spiritually overwhelming, it’s natural to avoid the traumatic memory and anything associated with it. Trauma processing is hard. It can take time and sometimes multiple treatment modalities to get you there. Avoidance can feel like the better, safer option.

But by avoiding it, you don’t have the opportunity to process and integrate the experience. This keeps the memory stuck in the nervous system and brain, emerging unexpectedly when faced with trauma reminders.

It’s true that avoidance strategies can work well temporarily, but they never solve the problem. And if you’re always running from this memory monster, you never have peace.

Think about that for a second.

You never have peace.

To me, that means always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It means never knowing when or how something will trigger you. It’s the inability to sit with the present moment. It’s being inflexible and tightly controlled, always working to avoid reminders of the trauma, both external (images, people, places) and internal (thoughts, feelings, memories). 

Living a life from a place of avoidance leads to running, constantly spinning your wheels. It can drive one toward workaholism, alcoholism, or co-dependence in order to avoid the deeper issue. Life becomes defined by what you’re avoiding instead of what you’re choosing to pursue. You’re not flowing through your life. 

Unprocessed trauma can show up as overthinking, crippling anxiety, depression, anger, or marathon running. For many people, it can look like an inability to sit still or be alone. It can also lead to periods of soul-numbing depression, believing everything is meaningless. 

These symptoms are often diagnosed and treated as the core problem. Meaning that the symptoms are treated as the root of the problem as opposed to an indicator of the problem. By only treating the symptoms as opposed to the main issue, one can go through a revolving door of other types of treatments and diagnoses. These often include eating, anxiety, depressive, and substance use disorders.

A Case for Mindful Avoidance

I’m not saying that avoidance doesn’t have its place. We can’t sit with our trauma all the time. We still need to function and get on with our days. We need to be able to contain it, put it on a shelf, and go about our life. It’s a dance of approaching & retreating; of knowing when to put it down and when to pick it back up again.

Perhaps this concept of mindful avoidance is better described as containment.

I think of trauma processing, and the dance of approaching and retreating like diving into a lake. You dive into the processing, the work. It’s gritty, hard work. It’s deep and murky. You can’t sustain it for too long, can’t hold your breath. You do a piece of it. Then, by listening to yourself and paying attention to how much you can handle, you decide when to swim to the surface and sit on the shore for a while. You live your life. You know the lake is there, but it’s next to you, and you can stay on the shore for a day or two or a hundred. Then, something happens, perhaps a big trigger, a life event, or your inner knowing, and you know it’s time to dive back in and do another piece of the work.

Do you see how containment is different than pure avoidance? It’s mindful and deliberate. It’s about paying attention to your ability to tolerate what you’re processing to keep yourself safe as opposed to simply pretending it doesn’t exist or running endlessly. Part of the dance is finding your right pace (with the help of a therapist), of knowing when to jump in and when to take a rest.

 How do I find resources to process trauma? 

There are many treatment modalities for trauma processing, focusing on cognitive, behavioral, somatic, and spiritual components. I believe true healing requires the brain, body, and spirit.

Doing the work alongside another human is imperative. Not only does it decrease shame, but it’s essential to receive guidance and pacing from another person. Finding a therapist who specializes in trauma and PTSD is essential.

There are different types of therapies for treating trauma, including Cognitive Processing Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Somatic Experiencing, and psychedelic therapies. Engaging in a filtered search on Psychology Today (psychologytoday.com) is a good start to finding a trauma-informed therapist.

There are also therapist directories specifically for trauma on the website of The National Center for PTSD (https://www.ptsd.va.gov/), International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (https://istss.org/home), and EMDR therapists (EMDR.com). Lastly, the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS.org) is an excellent resource for treating trauma with psychedelic therapies.

I hope this is helpful on your healing path! XOXO